"LET THERE BE LIGHT" Ministries
EMOTIONS, part 8 - Love In Problem Marriages...continued quotes
1) The Emotion of Love Dealing With Meddling Relatives in the Marriage
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24.
This verse reveals that when a man and a woman unite together in holy wedlock and become of one flesh, that it is God's will for them to leave the homes of their parents and live elsewhere.
“And Caleb said, He that smiteth Kirjathsepher, and taketh it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife. And Othniel the son of Kenaz, the brother of Caleb, took it: and he gave him Achsah his daughter to wife. And it came to pass, as she came unto him, that she moved him to ask of her father a field: and she lighted off her ass; and Caleb said unto her, What wouldest thou? Who answered, Give me a blessing; for thou hast given me a south land; give me also springs of water. And he gave her the upper springs, and the nether springs.” Joshua 15:16-19.
These verses reveal that after Othniel and Achsah were married, they obtained land of their own to live on and begin their family life together without them living with their parents. Even though the land they were living on was Caleb’s property, yet they were not living in Caleb’s house, but separate from it.
2) Whatever family issues or problems occurring within your own family are not to be shared or disclosed with any one else – including your parents.
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:7-9.
The Greek word used here for “asunder” is “chorizo”, and this word translates and means, “to place room between, to part, to go away” (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, word #5563). These verses reveal that since God has joined this husband and wife together as one flesh in their sacred and holy wedlock, they are to cleave and press closer to each other, and God forbids any other person from doing anything that would cause space to occur between the husband and wife and lead them to part or go away or separate from each other. This means that God forbids any relative, friend or any other person from coming in-between the closeness of any husband and wife in any way, which would include interfering, meddling or intruding in their family affairs - especially parents!
3) Since God desires married children to live away from their parents home, then if the soon to be husband and wife do not have enough money to live by themselves, then they should not get married until they can.
In Biblical times, before a man could marry a woman he had to first provide a suitable dowry to the parents of the daughter (Genesis 29:18, 34:12; Exodus 22:17). Usually after the marriage, the parents would give this dowry amount to their daughter in order to help her marriage become more financially stable. This custom safeguarded the couple from getting married too quickly, and also prevented lazy and deadbeat men from being able to marry and father children, which would only cause all kinds of unnecessary problems and misery if they did.
4) After married children have left the home of their parents, does this mean that they no longer have to keep the 5th commandment to honor and obey their parents? No.
“But he answered and said unto them (Jewish Church leaders), Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It [all my property and money] is a gift [to the church], by whatsoever thou [the church leaders] mightest be profited by me; And honour not his father or his mother [by taking care of them], he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.” Matthew 15:3-6.
In these verses the 5th commandment was still in force even after the children have married and have families of their own. This means that even though you do not live in your parent's home, if you do not honor and obey your parents then you have broken God’s commandment and thereby have committed sin. This sin will keep you out of the kingdom of heaven, unless you sincerely repent and change your attitude towards your parents.
“...(Those who are) disobedient to parents...Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” Romans 1:30, 32.
5) The Emotion of Love Dealing With Those Who Have Been Married More Than Once
“And he (John the Baptist) came into all the country about Jordan, preaching the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins...Then said he to the multitude that came forth to be baptized of him, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance, And now also the ax is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire....Then came also publicans to be baptized, and said unto him, Master, what shall we do? And he said unto them, Exact no more than that which is appointed you. And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.” Luke 3:3, 7-9, 12-14.
These inspired verses reveal several principles that can be applied in this particular issue. The first thing you should do is to fully and sincerely repent for this sin of unbibilcal marriage. Then make confession and repent to your current spouse whom you had no Biblical right to marry. Next make confession and repent to your previous spouse whom you have committed adultery against by remarrying (Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11-12), and then make confession and repent to God whose law you broke. And finally then bring forth fruits to the glory of God in harmony with your repentance, and determine with God’s divine strength and grace that you will never again marry someone whom you have no Biblical justification to marry.
6) After confession and repentance has taken place, then should you disolve your current marriage? No. These verses also mention that John did not tell the tax collectors that they needed to quit their job in order to show forth fruits worthy of their repentance. And neither did he tell the Roman soldiers that they needed to leave the army. John simply told both that from that point on they were to keep God’s law in all areas of their life, and especially in their dealings with others.
“...as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised....Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called....Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.” 1 Corinthians 7:17-18, 20, 24.
This verse would also show that after you have sincerely repented for your sin of remarriage, you would not need to then dissolve your current marriage, but from that point on you would need to determine to be a true obedient follower of God in all areas. You have become of one flesh with your new spouse and are indeed vowed and committed to them for life, and since God has accepted your sincere repentance and has truly forgiven your sin, then there is no need to break up your current marriage.
“(The prophet Nathan said to king David) Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the LORD, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife...And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed...the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die....And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him.” 2 Samuel 12:9, 13-14, 24.
These verses reveal that David had no Biblical right to take and marry Bathsheba. David then recognized he had committed sin, he then truly and sincerely repented, and then God truly and fully forgave him. After repentance, God did not tell David or Bathsheba that they must dissolve their original unbiblically justifiable marriage, but He instead accepted their marriage by blessing them with their son Solomon whom God loved.
This amazingly shows us that God is very merciful and tender hearted towards each and every one of His erring children! That when we sincerely repent and God forgives us, His forgiveness is complete – meaning that our past sin is fully removed and is made as if we had never sinned in the first place. This is the reason how God could bless David and Bathsheba’s marriage together after repentance, whereas before repentance He could not bless it. And this also shows us that God accepts us in the position we are in when we sincerely come to Him through Jesus Christ and fully repent of our sins, and that He does not ask us to change our position, but from that point on we are to go and sin no more!
“Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.” John 5:14.
“And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” John 8:11.